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Dinner’s ready!

 

My cooking has always been the target of family jokes….

One evening, as I prepared dinner a bit too quickly, the kitchen filled with smoke and the smoke detector went off.

Although both of my children had received fire-safety training at school, they did not respond to the alarm.

Annoyed, I stormed through the house in search of them.

I found them in the bathroom, washing their hands.

Over the loud buzzing of the smoke alarm, I asked them to identify the sound.

It’s the smoke detector, they replied in unison.

“Do you know what that sound means?” I demanded.

Sure, my oldest replied. “Dinner’s ready”.

A Scene in 2020

Operator: Hello Domino’s!

Customer: Hello, can you please take my order?

Operator: Can I have your multi purpose  card number first, Sir?

Customer: Yeah! Hold on….. My number is 889861356102049998-45-54610

Operator: OK… you’re… Mr Singh and you’re calling from 17 Jalan Kayu. Your home number is 40942366, your office 76452302 and your mobile is 0142662566. You are calling from your home number now.

Customer: (Astonished) How did you get all my phone numbers?

Operator: We are connected to the system, Sir.

Customer: I wish to order your Seafood Pizza…

Operator: That’s not a good idea Sir.

Customer: How come?

Operator: According to your medical records, you have high blood pressure and even higher cholesterol level, sir.

Customer: What?… What do you recommend then?

Operator: Try our Low Fat Hokkien Mee Pizza. You’ll like it.

Customer: How do you know for sure?

Operator: You borrowed a book titled ‘Popular Hokkien Dishes’ from the National Library last week, sir.

Customer: OK I give up… Give me three family size ones then.

Operator: That should be enough for your family of 10, Sir. The total is Rs. 2,450.

Customer: Can I pay by credit card?

Operator: I’m afraid you have to pay us cash, Sir. Your credit card is over the limit and you owe your bank Rs. 1,51,758 since October last year. That’s not including the late payment charges on your housing loan, Sir.

Customer: I guess I have to run to the neighbourhood ATM and withdraw some cash before your guy arrives.

Operator: You can’t Sir. Based on the records, you’ve exhausted even your overdraft limit.

Customer: Never mind just send the pizzas, I’ll have the cash ready. How long is it gonna take anyway?

Operator: About 45 minutes Sir, but if you can’t wait you can always come and collect it on your motorcycle.

Customer: What?

Operator: According to the details in the system , you own a motorcycle registration number 1123.

Customer: “????” (hmmm.. these guys know my motorcyle number too!)

Operator: Is there anything else, sir?

Customer: Nothing.! .. by the way… aren’t you giving me that 3 free bottles of cola as advertised?

Operator: We normally would sir, but based on your records, you’re also diabetic… In the best interest of your health, we are holding this offer for you.

Customer: (now pissed) ***%&$%%### You $##$%%@!)))

Operator: Better mind your language sir. Remember on 15th July 2007 you were imprisoned for 2 months and fined Rs.5,000 for using abusive language against a policeman…?

Customer faints…

The Anna Jarvis story..Mothers day 1908

The story of the ‘contemporary’ Mother’s Day, widely celebrated in the majority of countries worldwide, began with a woman from West Virginia in USA – Anna Jarvis, born in 1864. During her life she literally focused her efforts to de-commercialize the idea of the Mother’s Day. She saw in it the abuse of the celebration itself.

We do not know a lot about Anna’s personality except from the fact that she was the ninth of 11 children of Ann Marie Reeves Jarvis and her husband, Granville Jarvis. She received her basic education in the public schools of Grafton and attended Mary Baldwin College in Staunton, Virginia.

Her mother, despite her obligations as a wife and mother, was also involved in the activities of the local church as well as local social life creating the so-called Mother’s Day Work Clubs uniting women in the near cities in order to ‘combat poor health and sanitation conditions that existed in those time in their neighbourhood and attributed to the high mortality rate of children. The clubs were highly successful and their role in tackling the local community problem was honored by all. ‘

During the civil war, Mother’sDay Work Clubs were involved in the nursing care to both parts of the conflict. After the war, ‘she continued her work to help heal the wounds of the war  and bring families and communities together again’.

Ann Maree Reeves Jarvis passed away on May 9, 1905. Two years later, in 1907, on the second Sunday in May, Anna invited friends to her home in Philadelphia, to celebrate the memory of her mother’s life. On this occasion, she announced her idea – a day of national celebration in honor of mothers – a Mother’s Day – the day her own mother inspired her to establish. “I hope that someone, sometime will found a memorial mothers day commemorating her for the matchless service she renders to humanity in every field of life. She is entitled to it.”

She launched a campaign to make “Mother’s Day” a nationally recognized holiday. She began locally, writing to the Superintendent of Andrews Methodist Church Sunday School in Grafton, West Virginia, where she suggested that the church in which her mother had contributed as a teacher for twenty years, celebrate a Mother’s Day in her honor. The Superintendent, Mr. Loar approved the idea and on May 10, 1908, the first official Mother’s Day service was held in the church. The church is now known as the  International Mother’s Day Shrine. It has been designated a national historic Landmark and it is there the 100 anniversary of the Mother’s Day have been held in 2008.